- Heard Ship

Ever since watching the video of Maria Luis del Rosario getting her boyfriend’s name tattooed on her ass, I have had so many questions. Many of these answers were given in his interview with Country Grind, the music blog of The Broward-Palm Beach New Times. As such, she got her first anus tattoo at the age of 19, and, while in prison, her fellow inmates named her d**k s**t. All very informative, but the rest of my questions were more, well, technical. So I talked to tattoo artist Myles Kerr, co-owner of Three Kings Tattoo in Brooklyn, to get his take on the whole anus tattoo business. What you should know if you want to get your butt hole tattooed after the jump. Warning, content is slightly graphic.

The Frisky: How often does someone come into your shop and ask for an anus tattoo?

Myles Karr: Never. I have never personally experienced this. No tattoo artist I know has ever tattooed a butt hole. In the industry, we consider it a novelty item. About 99% of people will probably be turned down if they ask for an anus tattoo at a tattoo shop. If someone came into my shop, not only would I not do one, but I would not hand it over to someone else to do it.

TF: Are there any circumstances under which you would tattoo in anus?

MK: No, at the right price, you’ll probably do anything. But I have to have a crazy, crazy price to do that. And yet, I can’t imagine any situation in which I would do it. I would only take this request seriously if the person had a bunch of other tattoos all over their body and it was like the last place that wasn’t inked. Otherwise, I’d assume they were doing it for shock value. This is another way to get attention. There is always someone who wants to do something like that. I’m not in the business of knocking the work of other tattoo artists, but someone who agrees to tattoo the anus is someone who doesn’t respect themselves, respect the craft, or respect their clients. They probably just want to gain notoriety.

TF: Do you think the artist at the convention who tattooed Maria’s asshole was trying to gain notoriety?

MK: No. I believe he was altering a tattoo that was already there. If that’s the case, it’s a different story because the person already has a tattoo there and you are fixing it.

TF: She was drunk also while getting her anus tattoo. I’ve had a few tattoos, and I was under the impression that you couldn’t drink at all before getting one.

MK: Yeah. It’s certainly frowned upon to tattoo while drunk because you bleed more if you’ve been drinking.

TF: While it’s healing, can you poop?

MK: I don’t know the exact logistics of how that would work. I do know that it’s a precarious place to get tattooed. You probably would bleed a lot more in the asshole because of all the nerve endings and capillaries. It would be very painful. It’s soft tissue.

TF: What about anus sex? Would one have to refrain?

MK: I don’t know what the exact healing time will be. When you get a tattoo, different parts of your body heal faster than others. Like the inside of your lip heals faster than the inside of your arm. Whenever I have tattooed someone in the crotch area, I recommend that they abstain from sex for two weeks. My general rule of thumb is: if you’re doing something that hurts, stop.

TF: When I got my tattoos, I was instructed to put a thin layer of either A&D ointment or Aquaphor on them. Would there be a different healing protocol for an anus tattoo?

MK: You will probably use preparation H because it is safe for this area. A general rule of thumb is to use spares. But that would be a slippery slope for anus tattoos, pardon the pun. Because of how sensitive your butt hole is, you may need more Preparation H, but if you apply more, more bacteria can get trapped in the area. The best way to heal is probably to cross your fingers and hope it works.

TF: What kinds of things do people typically get tattooed in their assholes?

MK: I’ve never seen any of this firsthand, only pictures and stuff on the internet. But I’ve seen starfish before. There’s a picture of a dragon tattooed on someone’s asshole that’s been floating around for a while. You’re going to be limited as to what you get there. You’re not going to get a portrait or something. I assume only small simple designs and lettering around the asshole would work.

TF: If there was hair down there, would you have to shave the asshole before you tattoo it?

MK: Yes. You’d have to.

TF: Do you think there would be, I know this is gross, but any kind of anus leakage while performing an anus tattoo?

MK: Again, I don’t know firsthand. But I assume that you would have issues because you’re putting pressure down there. And there are needles involved. It’s not something I or anyone I know would want to get involved in. Please, anyone reading this, do not contact me for an anus tattoo!

TF: Anything else you should know before attempting to get a tattooing anus?

MK: Make sure you shower first. And … don’t do it.